you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I have tasted many bathrooms
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
