haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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