I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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