So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
