the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I want her autograph on my taint
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
