Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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