I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
