Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
