I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
