Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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