She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
