I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
