i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize