You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
