So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
