so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
