I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
