we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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