I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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