This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
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