my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
