There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
