she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
