we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
