it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
