maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize