I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
