You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
