forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
