im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
