never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
