We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
