I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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