i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
