I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
