Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This house was built for laser tag.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
