I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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