Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
