And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize