Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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