Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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