She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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