those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize