I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
