we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
