I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
