i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
