I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
