i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
