cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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