Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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