I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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