Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
