I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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