I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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