i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
did i just pee glitter
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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