Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
