there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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