apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
