He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize