I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
