Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize