Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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