Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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