Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
