Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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