We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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