my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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