did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
