***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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