my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize