You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
