I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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