Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
