So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I believe in your delicious
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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