come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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