he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
