she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
