Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We are all done wearing pants today
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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